Saturday, December 22, 2012

rejoice.



The spirits have been high here in the Buckwalter house...so has the energy, fighting and chaos. Tis the season to be jolly!! (Hee! Hee!)  Last week I was stressed and still trying to pack up the house. This week I took a break from packing and hung the stockings, decorated for the season and have been getting into the Christmas spirit. At this point we will not move until closer to the New Year but that feels good.
Yesterday was the the kids last day at their school. In January they will be starting at a new school. We went and visited last week and thankfully each kids knew or recognized at least two faces in their new class. I am praying for a smooth transition. Sarah is taking it the hardest. Sometimes I think we are so different and I can blame Mark for her passion and energy. But yesterday as she just sobbed and sobbed for over an hour about leaving her school I was reminded of another second grade girl who cried so hard on her last day of school before moving that her eyes were so puffy they were just slits. And her best friend at the time had given her half of a best friends forever necklace. Sarah came home from school with a necklace of her own from her best friend at school. I guess we are more alike than I think sometimes. I could understand her pain and fear and worries. But I was able to move on and make new friendships and I pray she will too.

We head to the first of our Christmas get togethers today. I am praying that in the midst of moving I can just savor this time with my family playing games of uno, laughing, watching cheesy Christmas movies and just being together. 

May each of you savor the JOY of the season!

Merry Christmas from the Buckwalters!

Monday, December 17, 2012

we are not consumed.

What can I say that hasn't already been said? What took place at Sandy Hook Elementary on Friday was unimaginable...a parent's worst nightmare. The unthinkable took place and I don't even like to really think about it too long. It makes my heart heart.
Today I felt so heavy thinking about the people in Connecticut, other stories of recent loss, troubles at work, and my own stress of moving and packing at the holidays. I felt as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My heart was so heavy. And I felt guilty for even being  frustrated with my children this weekend  running around the house making messes. I want to enjoy these moments and cherish this time but sometimes this parenting thing can be just so downright frustrating and tiring.

Finally I just broke. Laid it all down at His feet. Let it go.

And peace came. It is not mine to carry. 

This verse came to mind,

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

-Lamentations 3:22-24

Amen. 



Tuesday, December 11, 2012

quiet.

That is what it is now. And that is what it has been on this blog. Though not for lack of activity. I have sat down to write several times but feel at loss for words. And at times too scattered to even want to write. Between the exercises of daily living, Christmas season activities,  the systematic packing up of our lives, and the preparing of our new house...I feel pulled and stretched and worn thin.

I have started out many blog posts in my head, "Parenting is H.A.R.D.", "Packing, Packing and more Packing" and "Tired Mom Yells at Her Kids"... but ended up feeling like I really didn't have anything very inspiring to say! So I have remained quiet.
(i joke but not really)

But I know it is good for me to type out words to get to my heart....and God's heart.

 He is for me.
 He is after me.
And He loves me.

There are good things prepared for those who love Him.
Those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed.




Here's to our next adventure. And to seeing it as just that