We have been on a journey this week...and we are still unsure of how it is going to end.
On Tuesday I had my first prenatal visit. I was thinking I was 12-13 weeks along in my pregnancy. I had my exam and the doctor then listened for the heartbeat but could not find it. She was not too worried thinking maybe I was not as far along as originally thought.
During this time I felt incredible peace. On the way to my appointment all the songs on the radio had been about trusting God no matter what. I called Mark to come in to the office because they wanted to do an ultrasound to check the dates and see if they could find a heartbeat. I was still at rest.
The ultrasound tech did two different ultrasounds and after what seemed like a very long time turned to me and told me that she could not find a heartbeat. We then met with a doctor who told us that there was not one baby but two-we were having twins.
Oh the range of emotions. We were having twins-something we longed for and had been spoken over us-and now it looked like we may never hold them. There was many tears shed and prayers cried out. We spent the next couple of days wrestling with our questions and trying to find a place of peace in surrendering to God.
That is where we are still. We are waiting on the Lord in regards to the lives of the twins.
Somewhere though in the midst of the waiting has arisen a hope within us...that maybe just maybe there could be a miracle...
But even if the Lord does not choose to heal them in that way we are thankful for the gift they are. I really felt like the Lord has given me this time with them to be their mother however short or long their lives may be.
These pictures came from a dream I had last night where I felt God saying we needed to take pictures of the twins as a celebration of their lives.
We are still on the journey and not sure how it will end...but I know that we can trust God- that is the only way to find PEACE and REST while we wait.
I am thankful we have each other to walk through this with. It has been hard but I feel God is drawing us closer through this.
"All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship"
~Hillsong worship song~
"For you created my inmost being
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made"
~Psalm 139~
10 comments:
okay. can you say crying.crying.crying. ugh. what a beautiful post. praying for peace over your family. mis.
p.s. and you have music now. love it.
Thank you for sharing your journey...we are waiting with you, loving you and thanking God for the twins...even now the word verification on this page reads"twinato" I've never seen those letters make any type of sense before, however it feels like another kiss from the Father tonight...just a reminder that he has them...and you...
We love you!
Matt & Naomi
thoughts and prayers. the pictures are beautiful. hoping for a miracle.
praying with you and believing in your miracles!
whoa, praying for you for sure!! will pray for clarity all around and for the twinners. and what a sweet dream heather, all of the pictures are fantastic. hillsong's "desert song" is one of my all-time favorites, so good. love you all.
Praying and hoping...
...love you guys and praying for you!!
We're praying for all of you!
-Paul & Angie
oh, wow, Heather... I randomly clicked over here from Janelle's blog only to read all these posts... praying for grace... and God to continue to meet you in this place...
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