heart connect.

"If they could just stay little". 

I remember being a mom of three, three and under and balking at that phrase not getting it at all. Thinking to myself, "They are so much work when they are little and need you for everything. I don't want them to stay little at all". Fast forward six years and I am starting to get it. All of a sudden my youngest is crawling, pulling herself up and eating puffs and getting so big and I want to just stop time...for her to just stay little. I love the way her little hands cling to me and her sweet smell after bath time and they way she looks at me like I am the best thing she ever did see. She doesn't yet yell in the store that I am the worst mom ever because I won't buy something she wants or say that my gluttous maximus looks "weird" in those pants I am wearing or want to continually talk about farting and burping at the dinner table. Ahh yes they do get big and I do love those kids too. But realizing how much easier it is when they are little. Yes there is sleepless nights and continual demands but sometimes the emotional and spiritual element to the bigger kids takes me completely off guard. I don't really want them to stay little just close to my heart. How do I keep that heart connection I feel with Eden with the bigger kids in the midst of whining, fighting, yelling, homework, and life. That is my desire for this next year. To be intentional about connecting with my children and their hearts. To yell less and laugh more. Cause the truth is they don't stay little long.