Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Break Up

Our relationship started a little over two years ago when Mark surprised me with an iphone. I had always protested against such things but soon surprised myself by how much I liked having it. What I liked most was having a camera at my disposal at all times and the second thing I really enjoyed having was Instagram. I liked Instagram because it was a creative outlet for me as stay at home mom and also another way to document our lives. I would often scroll down through my feed reminding myself that the days are long but the years are short and the memories are sweet. Instagram was also a fun way to stay connected with friends and peer into other peoples lives. As a life long people watcher, Instagram feed my curiosity and love of hearing others stories. 

However over the last little while I have noticed a shift for me. I have found myself coming away from "catching up" on Istagram feeling restless. Subtly I will find myself comparing myself to the lives of those on those little squares. I also have noticed myself feeling more distracted which then makes me more irritable. I find myself feeling the need to check in throughout the day. I have felt like my brain has been on overload at times with all the information that is coming at me. I love the creativity and the photography aspect of instagram but I notice that if I post on instagram then I often do not blog. I saw someone write on their profile "instagram ate my blog" and it is true. If I Instagram it satisfies just enough of that itch to express myself but only just scratches the surface as far as photography and writing go.

All that to say,  I have felt at war at times recently with loving it yet also hating it. Over the weekend I felt like maybe me and instagram needed to take a break from each other. A break up, if you will. 
As I thought about saying good bye I got a little bit anxious. How will I keep in the loop? How will I stay connected with so and so? What if I miss a good yard sale or a baby being born or someone getting married? What if I miss something really important that only is posted on Instagram?!!

Silly? Maybe... but all very real thoughts running through my head. So I was back and forth all weekend on whether or not to delete instagram off my phone. The fact that it was even a battle should say something but I enjoy it and didn't want to do something just out of a religious heaviness.

Saturday afternoon I came across this quote,

"This summer put your phone away for a few days. Make some memories that no one knows about. Make some memories that are just yours."

okay that was loud.

And then yesterday in my email inbox came an article from Ann Voskamp, 
"How to Focus in an age of Distraction"...all about getting distracted by technology.

So after reading it I pulled the trigger and said good bye. I broke up with Instagram. Sorry Instagram...It's me, not you. I am thinking it is just a "we need our space for the summer" thing  but we shall see... :)

This morning I found myself going for that familiar icon on my phone only for it not to be there. It reminded me how much I need this break, this space to just breathe and be present.

I am hoping to learn to use a real camera as in not just on automatic, something that I haven't done because Mark takes all the pictures. I am wanting to write more on the blog. But mostly want to be less distracted. 

Here's to summer and making memories...