Thursday, March 31, 2011

new life...

Even though it still FEELS like winter, spring is here and new LIFE is coming forth....

I walked out of the house on Tuesday to find a couple day old kitten sitting beside our back porch crying. I shouted for Sarah to come quickly. She scooped that little kitty right up into her arms and tucked him into her sweat shirt. That's my girl. She has a crazy spunky side but is also very nuturing when it comes to animals and her little sister....

 She named the little kitten Muffin. It's eyes were still closed and its cord was still attached. I think the Mama must have been moving her kittens and dropped one.

Later the Mama cat showed up and we reunited her with her lost kitten and she took the baby and ran to the barn. It made for some excitement and some cute pictures of Sarah.

P.S. These cute little kittens will be available for FREE in a couple weeks if anyone is interested....

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

perfectly imperfect

You know when God is putting his finger on something in your life when everywhere you turn you are faced with the same issue. Well that is happening to me.
I never thought I was a perfectionist before because my life and house were not well, perfect. Then I came across this quote,
"Perfectionism is not about achieving perfection. Perfectionists are people who pursue perfection by creating unrealistic pictures and expecting themselves to live up to them. This robs you of peaceful acceptance of yourself."   (Carol Kuyendall)
That pretty much hit the nail on the head. Lately I have been seeing how I am my biggest critic and how much the standards I put on myself are robbing me of joy. I feel at times there is someone over my shoulder watching my every move and pointing out where I messed up. That someone is not God. It is me.

Last week I came across another quote,
"A perfectly kept home is a sign of a misspent life."
Bulls eye. I wrote down the quote and hung it on my fridge. On Sunday I was talking to another mom of four kids in the church nursery and somehow this topic came up. After listening a little she said, "You know there is this quote I have heard..." and proceeded to spout off the exact words I just posted on my fridge. Okay I get it.
But there was more. It is one thing to hang a quote up and another to walk it out. So Mark invited a family of five over for lunch after church. I agreed but then remembered the state of my house back home. It was too late to change our minds and I had to be okay with letting them see my way less than perfect house. To top that off the soup I had put in the crock pot that morning might have been my worst culinary effort to date. Yeah, I think God was putting His finger on this area in my life.

I don't know why it is such a struggle. I especially struggle with ideals on housekeeping. I don't need my house to be immaculate but I do like things tidy and in order but I am learning with four kids my standards need to keep being let go of.... recognizing there are more important things than a clean house.  Five year old Sarah confronted me on this one day. "Mom why does everything have to be perfect when we have people over?" she asked me. I started to protest but then realized the truth in her question.
"Homemaking is about making a home. Homemaking is not about perfection. Perfect does not mean immaculate. A perfect home is an authentic, creative space where peace and love and beauty are embraced."  (Ann Voskamp)
So yesterday I met with a new friend and she again spoke this truth into my heart. She was sharing how it is not raising and loving our children that is the hard part but all the other things we can got bogged down with.  That described my battle completely. When I just focus on loving my children and what I am called to each day I am okay. It is when I compare or attempt to live up to some unrealistic ideal  or try to be like "so and so" that it becomes a struggle.

I really want to walk in FREEDOM in this area. I am tired of constantly feeling defeated by these self-imposed standards.  Perfectionism paralyzes me from moving forward because I get stuck on my own mistakes and failures.These words from Paul bring me perspective,

"I have not yet reached my goal and I am not perfect (surprise, surprise). BUT Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep running and struggling to take hold of the prize. But I forget what is behind me and I struggle for what is ahead." (Philippians 3:12-13)
When I write it all out it seems so simple but to walk it out is a daily struggle. One that I want to overcome...
I remember Mark taking this picture and my protesting. It was a hot and sweaty summer day and I was sure I looked horrible. But looking back on this picture I can now find it beautiful because I was who I am and doing what I was called to do, mothering. I need to look in the right mirror and hear God's perspective, not all the ways I am less than ideal.

So today I choose to walk in the grace He has given me....Letting go of my failures and being okay with being perfectly imperfect.

learning to let go

 "Parenting is like training a child to ride a bicycle...the ultimate goal is to let go and let the child ride, knowing they may wobble and fall a few times." (carol kuyendall)
pictures from last summer -sarah learning to ride without training wheels

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Spring is in the air...

 We have been loving the spring weather here at Blossom View Farm. The sun is shining. The bikes are out of the garage. The lawn is scattered with toys and trikes. Ahh...spring is here.

Last Sunday morning on the way to church I told Mark I wanted to get some pansies. Sunday afternoon my mother in law stopped by with you guessed it... pansies. I was so blessed. There is nothing like pansies on the porch to make it feel like spring.

The creek is always a favorite spot in the spring time. The kids love to go down through the meadow to the water and build dams, have boat races and even get in. I walked down to the creek on Thursday to see this little girl in the water. She loved it. She has no fear of the water. Neither does her sister who stripped down and was swimming. Yeah, crazy I know.

Silas content to soak it all in from the sidelines. He is my one kid who doesn't like to get wet.

Mark and I stole away last night for a date night at Iron Hill followed by a walk through the city and a stop at some old friend's house. Such a great evening and some much needed time together. Thanks to my awesome sister for watching the kids!

 Here is little Hope revealing her Daddy's dimple which if you ask she will show to you. "Hopey's dimple" she says with a grin. She refers to herself in third person. Too funny.

Hope enjoying the spring day tongue hanging out and all....another trait she gets from her Daddy by the way!

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~Anne Bradstreet

Thank you God for spring...for new seasons...for fresh hope...and  for life!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Happy 2nd Birthday Hopey

Here are two of my favorite pictures to celebrate your two years of life...

You bring so much joy and personality to our family.
You crack me up with the funny things you say and do and the way you charge full speed ahead to keep up with your brothers and sisters.
Your favorite things right now are "pulling" Mommy up the steps at bedtime, being outside with "brother", playing house with Sarah, and reading books with Silas.
You give the sweetest wet kisses and you love to cuddle.
You do not hold back your affection and I want to be more like that too.

We love you Hope. Happy Happy Birthday!

Monday, March 7, 2011


Tommorow Hope turns two...
It is hard to believe.
On Saturday we had a little joint birthday celebration with her cousin Campbell who turned four.
Here are the two little birthday beauties enjoying a moment together...

We have a little Buckwalter tradition that whenever there is a birthday this little monkey who sings Happy Birthday is brought and his annoying, ahem, cute song gets played over and over again. The kids love it! The funny thing is the monkey was originally given as a gift to my sister in law who gave it to Re-Uzit where my mother in law works and she bought it! Ha! It is a great story and a great tradition!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

First of all He loves me...

Sometimes God's love just invades our days, and it takes us by surprise...

I was reading a children's book from the library to the kids when I had to stop reading. I was struck by the simple truth of God's love for me.

I began to cry, tears rolling down my face so that I could not even read.
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

It was so simple but yet so profound that it touched something deep inside of me.

It is not about how much I mess up or fall short. Or even about what I accomplish in the day.
He loves matter what.

In the back of the book the author talked about how it will be easier for our kids to see the unconditional love in God's eyes if they have first seen it in ours. And how important it is for them to hear, "First of all I love you. Second of all I love you. And thirdly I love you..... Even on their very, very bad days. Especially on their very, very bad days." (phil visher)

I was taken back. That is how God embraces me on my bad days and I want to extend that same kind of love to my children...especially on days when love does not seem to be abounding....

First of all I love you. Secondly I love you.
And thirdly I love you.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Saturdays are for Men Stuff

Friday night before bed Moses presented this boys only agenda for the following day including the times it should all occur...
Market, EM Herrs (hardware store), and then home for breakfast

Moses was very excited about his plan and even more excited when Daddy said we could do his agenda!
In the middle of the night Mark got up to check on the fire and Moses met him in the bathroom. "Only 2 hours and 40 minutes till it is time to leave Dad!"
The kid must have been laying in bed literally counting down the hours on his little alarm clock in his room!
Sure enough a little before 6:30 Moses woke up Daddy for the start of the day!

 They boys had a great morning and after a home cooked egg and sausage breakfast by Daddy with donuts from Central Market the boys spent hours outside doing Men Stuff like chainsawing, stacking wood and riding in the skid loader.
I think Saturdays were made for stuff like this...