Saturday, April 6, 2013

secure.

 Hindsight is always 20/20. Recently I have been reflecting on this time a year ago. I was so uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. I was afraid that everything was really not going to be okay. Maybe this baby would never come out. Maybe I would never be able to walk again without pain. Maybe...maybe, maybe. My fears and questions seemed to confront me at every step
This morning I awoke to the sounds of my healthy baby girl crying "mama" and reaching her chubby little arms to be held. Her smiles and giggles bring me so much joy daily. 
A couple weeks ago I hurt my back somehow while bending down to pick up Eden. I was in a lot of pain. I spent a lot of time on the couch. It felt oh so familiar to those weeks leading up to Eden's birth. You would think I would learn from that time but my heart went right back and starting doubting again God's goodness. I was confronted with things in my heart and I did not like what I saw. How quickly I doubt His love. His plan. His goodness. But he drew near and touched those deep places in my heart...and my back. He whispered His promises to me there in my weakness.
He is always there. Even in those times that feel dark and scary. He is GOOD. He is LOVE.
My heart can rest secure. 

this picture brings me to tears every time. so much love.