I texted my best friend from high school and college days. The friend who knew me before kids, pre hormonal meltdowns and losing my mind moments.
I wrote, "Remind me of who I was before I was a mom. I think I was fun and not so fearful. I don't know where that girl is anymore. I know some of my battle is just the reality of having five kids and a household to run and the responsibilities that come with that but at times I have become this fearful worry filled person I don't want to be."
She wrote back and reassured me that I was a lot of fun and adventurous and wild and crazy in the best possible way. She prayed that I could find more freedom in this season.
Sometimes you need weekends away to remember who you are without kids. I can get so bogged down with the everyday life that the idea of going away just becomes another thing on my to do list. I can become too serious and let the life get sucked right out of me. But when I get those moments or weekends away from the regular duties of motherhood I am reminded by just how very much I need them.
This past weekend was just that.
Real conversations. Sharing hearts. Laughter and tears. Sun on our faces. Sitting on the beach for hours. Walks and bike rides on the boardwalk. Good food.
Family that has become best friends.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"