Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thoughts on Motherhood.
On Easter Sunday I had the chance to share at church about "Buried He carried my sins far away" taken from the song "Glorious Day". I shared how I used to think I was a pretty good person. I knew Jesus died for my sins but I honestly did not think I had that much to be forgiven of. Then I got married... and realized that they was a lot of selfishness, pride and stubbornness inside of me. And then I had kids. Enough said. The pendulum swung and I now have a hard time not beating myself up because I mess up every single day. But I am realizing that there is grace and I need to receive it for myself so I can extend it to my children and others around me. When I am tense and have way too high expectations it seems that is when my children act out the worst. Jesus carried my sins far away, as far as the east is from the west. I want to walk in the freedom and mercy that is there for me as a mother, every. single. day.
I am reminded just now of something an older father said to us a few months ago. We were at their house having dinner. They have four grown children and are now having grandchildren. He looked at us and our four children who were bouncing around in their living room and said to us "Wow you are in some of the best years of your life". Really?! His words struck me because I don't always see it that way. But I do not want to forget these days....I want to enjoy these days of mothering and look back and remember them as some of the best years of my life.