Thursday, September 22, 2011

mood lift

Blame it on the pregnancy. Blame it on spending most of the day yesterday on the couch. Or blame it on spending a majority of the past week or so in sweatpants with no makeup....Either way today I randomly walked into holiday hair (of all places) and got my hair chopped off. It was a total spur of the moment move. But I left $12 later feeling a little lighter. It was what I needed today.
This is my eighth time walking through a first trimester. My three miscarriages were all at 12-14 weeks so I was already mostly thru the first trimesters. You would think I would be a pro by now. But each time it is a battle. It is a battle physcially but also emotionally and spiritually. I struggle with depression and feel like I am in survival mode just to get through the day. I know this is just a season. I know it will not last forever. I know, I know. But when I am in the midst of it, it can be hard to keep perspective and vision on the goal....new life, a baby of promise. Today I felt some relief from the sickness and I am praising the Lord because the last few days were hard. I know I am not through yet but I am thankful for today. And I just need to take it day by day.... leaving my fears and worries at His feet.

6 comments:

AmyK said...

Getting a hair cut is something I tend to do when stressed out, worried, down etc. I understand the experience! The new 'do looks cute on you!

Sabrina said...

Your hair looks great! I love a new haircut, well usually...:) Praying for you!

Missy. said...

oh girl. i am so sorry. hoping to pray you thru these next few weeks. and that hopey... :) mis.

consume me... said...

Just catching up with your last few weeks of posts...so many events! Favorite post is the story of how you met...I love how God loves us!

So excited for the new life blooming inside you...keep on, but only one minute at a time.

Glad you have come to peace about school...the timing was all in God's plans, too. Hoping you are maximizing some down time that you didn't expect to have this year.

Be encouraged...you've encouraged me this evening. His face is turned full in your direction...just watch and see.

Blessings...

Jeane` said...

Hi, Heather!
I am a brand-spankin' new reader to your blog and feel like I should know you somehow. I live in your area, and am friends with Janelle Stoltzfus and a few others that I feel would know you?!?! Or perhaps I am completely off my rocker, which I am in nearly every other way most moments of the day(so thus, it's entirely possible!).

I, too, experienced three pregnancies that ended sadly-an ectopic, stillbirth(26 wks) and then a miscarriage. I had a sweet stepson and thought perhaps he would be 'it'. But no, God has a sense of humor and for whatever reason, gave this noise-intolerant, terribly impatient woman (and her longsuffering, even-steven husband) five children within three years. There were twins at the end. I read of the twins you lost, and I am so so so sorry. Yet, i rejoice you were able to have a fifth to add to your already beautiful family! I just know that last pregnancy really did my body in. "Weary" doesn't even begin to describe!

Mine are still all at home, no kindgergarten yet and we don't do preschool...so I am NOT at the point were I can say 'hang on, it get's easier'...but I hear that it does! :)

Loved reading your love story too. How awesome is that?? (Pretty, very).

Warmly,
Jeane`

The lady of the house... said...

love that hairdo. so sweet on you.