I shut the bathroom door and took a deep breath. Even here I could not find any peace and quiet as I could hear the kids fighting and screaming just outside the door. "Lord I feel like I am drowning"I said quietly. In wash. In dishes. In children. In chaos.
I had just gotten off the phone with Mark who got an ear full. He gently reminded me that I need to let go of some stuff and if I try to control everything I am going to go crazy. I told him I thought I already may have.
Now I was in the bathrooom trying to regain composure. Nothing was wrong. Just another day in the life of summer with five kids. Grocery shopping. Swim lessons. Everyday life stuff. But I felt like I was drowning.
As I said those words, the words to a song I heard on the radio came to my head. I looked up the words to the song...
Here I am Lord and I'm drowning
The song was talking of a different kind of drowning. Drowning in God's grace and not my own self pity. I was encouraged again by the Lord's mercy and grace that covers a multitude of bad mornings, angry words, tantrums and much more.
I treated myself to a LARGE glass of iced coffee and took a deep breath. And there was and is still plenty of craziness but my day is getting better. I want to drown in His forgetfulness and not my own. I am too quick to forget His goodness and love. Oh how it makes a difference!
"If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking.
-John Mark McMillan
|a heart in the sky. a reminder of his love.|