I should be napping right now...oh wait I tried to nap for the last hour but kept getting interrupted by the other children running circles around the couch where I laid. So I gave up. I sent them outside and I am blogging...some mother I am. :)
I have pulled out one of my favorite mothering books this afternoon, "Loving the little years: Motherhood in the trenches". I had been thinking about one of the chapters recently and wanted to reread it. Rachel Jankovic is a mother of five little kids so speaks from experience. In the chapter Rachel talks about how she decided not to use the word "overwhelmed' anymore because she felt like it was an excuse to check out and give up. And that even though she was overwhelmed with the workload of another child this was her new normal so she better get used to it. I feel the same way about the word "tired". I catch myself complaining, "i am so tired"...and I am. Eden is not sleeping super great at night and has fussy bouts throughout the day which makes for a tired mama. However, I know that this is just a season. A season where Eden demands a lot of me. This will pass. I am tired but dwelling on it doesn't produce more energy and it just makes every task in front of me feel daunting. So I decided this afternoon I am going to try not to say "overwhelmed" and "tired" anymore....I know that there is grace and strength for this season of mothering the Lord has called me to!
I was reminded this morning when I was awoken from my slumber by a screaming baby and four other children demanding my attention that this is what I could not wait for three weeks ago. And I am so glad Eden is here and a part of our lives. And I am feeling so much better than three weeks ago and how much better will I feel three weeks from now!
Perspective. Perspective. Perspective.
"I am still in over my head. Actually most of the time. But deciding not to wallow in that fact has removed one of the biggest obstacles to my work-my own calculations of how hard the job is."