wrestling for the blessing

 I will never forget the night he told me he was interested in me. It was nine months after I had first met him. I had just spent the weekend with Mark and two of our friends ministering at a youth group retreat. It had been a great weekend but we were all tired and ready to get home. I was wearing my glasses, old jeans and a well worn sweatshirt. 
During the retreat the Lord had been speaking to me more about how He saw me and things he was calling me to and the ministry team had even spent time praying for my future husband. As I was packing up my car to go home Mark asked if he could talk to me. He proceeded to tell with me that for nine months he had been praying and asking the Lord if I was the one. He explained the whole journey and shared his heart. I just sat there dumbfounded. Something inside clicked as he was sharing yet I couldn't believe he was actually interested in me...

 We decided to take the next week and pray about our relationship. I drove home crying as I realized for the first time in a long time that the Lord really did have good things for me and maybe even my heart's desire. That night I fell asleep and woke up at 2:30 in the morning and felt the Lord saying to lay my hand on my hip and pray. Earlier in the weekend at the retreat my hip had been shaking and hurting as we prayed for my husband. Now I laid my hand on my hip and the story of Jacob wrestling with God came to my mind. I had been wrestling with who I was and what God had for me. 
And I felt these words spoken to my heart, "You have wrestled with God and with man and have overcome. I will change your name. You shall no longer be called Jacob but Israel with means struggled with God and overcome." 
One of the guys I had been wrestling with whether or not to be in a relationship with was named Jacob. The Lord was saying that Jacob was not who I was called to be with but he was literally going to give me a new name...a new last name.